Just Another Effin' Observer

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Location: Huntsville, Texas, United States

Monday, January 17, 2005

JAFO: An Introductory

"You should start a blog. I'll bet you'd get a lot of hits."

That's what a Web site editor e-mailed to me when she rejected (conditionally, in her defense) an article I wrote for her site, about -- of all things -- love-bugs. (I'll explain later, but only on request.) Well, as they say, 'Be careful what you wish for....'

I must confess that I had second thoughts about even starting this blog. After reading the kind of bilge that Michelle Malkin has to put up with on a daily basis, I spent a great many hours asking myself, "Who needs this shit!?" But then I decided, "Hey, if Michelle has the balls to tolerate this spewage, then so damn-flippin'-well do I!"

In the 1983 John Badham movie Blue Thunder (John Badham directed; Roy Scheider starred), one of the characters is called ‘JAFO’, for “Just Another Fucking Observer”. Well, that’s me. With this post, followed by a couple of rants on some of the hot-button issues of the day, I hereby inaugurate my blog, appropriately titled ‘JAFO’. Because that is precisely what I am: Just Another Fucking Observer.

The introduction of a new weblog invariably prompts the usual quorum of reactions, mostly on the order of, “Geez, like we aren’t up to our armpits in these things already?” Now, I can’t promise that my blog will be significantly different, or qualitatively better, than the six-hundred-and-seventy-two kazillion blogs already floating about in cyberspace. But it will be mine, and that should make it unique, after a fashion, if nothing else.

A former manager (not mine, actually, but I worked closely with her department as part of my responsibilities toward my signature project) once told her staff: “If you don’t piss off at least one person in the course of your day, then you’re not doing your job.” I have taken that little snippet of smart-assed wisdom to heart, and have incorporated it into virtually every aspect of my life. Thus I think I can safely promise that, in the entries I shall make on this site, people will be pissed off. Some will be pissed on. (Figuratively speaking, of course; I’m not into that kinky-sex scene. In point of fact, I’m not particularly into sex at all. I figure that if God had meant for us to enjoy sex, He wouldn’t have made it sticky.) Oxen will be gored. Sacred cows will be rendered into mouth-watering Prime Rib. (With the obligatory horseradish sauce, and gently-steamed asparagus spears with Hollandaise. Washed down by a particularly saucy Pinot Noir.)

Hopefully, some of my observations will strike a responsive chord, and prompt lively (civil would also be nice, but I ain’t holding my breath!) debate. It is entirely possible that some people may even actually agree with me. (As Bloody Mary said in South Pacific, “You gotta have a dream….”)

What are you likely to find in these pages? The usual bloggy crap: long-winded pontifications about this and sundry; short, pithy commentary in re some of the more moronic news items I run across; pointless ramblings about whatever gets my delicates in a twist; the obligatory, massive ego-stroking; links to other, more reputable, blogs, mostly in hopes that those more-reputable blogs will link back to mine, thus driving up my hit-count; occasionally some tit-shot JPEGs and fart jokes. You know, S.S.D.URL.

What you will not find is: any reference whatsoever to cats. I hate cats. I am allergic to cats. And the musical sucked harder than a Hoover. (The vacuum cleaner, I mean, not J. Edgar. Although rumors abound….) I will, therefore, from this point forward, decline to write another word about cats, mine (which I don’t have) or anyone else’s. Let me qualify that a bit: I will write nothing about cats that does not convey, in the most vivid terms, my utter disdain for those hairy, dander-poofing, furball-hocking, cosmically self-absorbed little beasts who, like the Alderaan wing of the Democratic Party, can't seem to get it through their heads that the sun has, in fact, finally set upon their imaginary empire.

And so, without further ado…, on with the blog.


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